The State Election is Looming!

Yes, it’s coming and everybody is excited – including all of us here at WARP. In fact I can’t tell you how excited we are…it’s embarrassing.

However, as there is an election in the wind we thought that we needed to release a few policies, as that is what political parties do. So apart from our standard policies outlined already (see post below) and all non-negotiable, we commit to the following five policies to get Western Australia up to WARP speed. More will be released later in the campaign if we can be bothered.

If elected WARP will;

  • Require all new elected members to take part in a Zombie Lurch from William Street, up St Georges Terrace to Parliament. During this lurch they must moan in their best zombie voice – “Braiins!  Braains! I need Braains! “
  • Commit to constructing a lift into space connecting Western Australia to the universe. At the top of this lift will be a ministerial office for the Minister for Interplanetary Affairs. This Minister will be in charge of all silly and inane ideas and will be formally addressed as The Space Cadet.
  • Ease congestion in the city by investing significantly in the development of flying carpets, as this will result in a signficant reduction in carbon emmissions (other than those from the terrified flyers). We have already been on fact-finding missions to Oman, Turkey and Iran to investigate options. These missions will be restrospectively charged to the taxpayer if we are elected.
  • Require that elected members observe international Talk Like a Pirate Day no matter what they have scheduled for that day – Aaaarrrggghhh!
  • Stop the boats! – by pure power of will. We will put an army of  Jedi Knights trained at the Obi-wan Ben Kenobi School of Mind Control on the coast, and they will all be saying ‘This is not the country you’re looking for!’ We feel this has as much chance of success as any of the other current policies.
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Comments

  • Mike Church  On February 9, 2013 at 7:16 am

    Very sensible policies if you ask me. You certainly have MY vote, Mr. Fripley.

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