More from the wobbly policy platform of WARP

Okay…not content with the first release of the 2013 WA election campaign, WARP is releasing a new set of policies. WARP used to be indecisive but we’re not so sure now, but what we are sure of are these hard-hitting new policies.

  •  WARP has seriously been considering electoral reform and will commit to having an extra blank spot on the ballot paper. This will be for the discerning voter who feels that none of the candidates that have nominated for their seat are suitable. The blank space will enable the voter to vote for whomever they would prefer to represent them in parliament. So, if you feel that Miranda Kerr, Jennifer Hawkins, Orlando Bloom, or perhaps Hugh Jackman, would be a better MP, or perhaps just a better looking one, then WARP will commit to enable you to vote for them whether they have nominated or not.
  • WARP is serious about energy conservation. WARP will commit to installing pedal-powered computers in all government offices. This will not only reduce carbon emissions, but will ensure that all public servants get a good dose of exercise and keep themselves healthy so that they can maintain a good level of red-tape.
  • WARP believes that jargon is essential for the good politician, and so all politicians will receive a dictionary of acceptable jargon. However, certain terms will be banned as they are considered over-used and redundant. These phrases are: 
    –  Moving Forward
    –  Time-poor, and
    –  Anything with the word strategic in it.

 In fact WARP will be commencing a multi-phase strategic review to ensure a systematic rationalisation of the operational paradigms that currently underpin the foundations of our policy platform (if you know what this really means please tell us!).

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