WARP’s public transport policy

Yes, after some lengthy time without a policy in sight, a bit like the modern political party that it aspires to be, WARP has dived head-first into the quagmire, road rage incidents, and tailback that is public transport in Perth.

Acknowledging that:
a) there are too many cars on the road,
b) there aren’t enough trains or buses,
c) the taxi problem hasn’t yet been sorted out,
d) we haven’t embraced bicycle infrastructure like other cities; and
e) no political party wants to invest in light-rail or anything that will bring benefits after their term in government,

WARP will supply each and every adult with a brand new personalised jetpack. This will make the commute to Perth a lot less congested and hopefully a lot more exciting than sitting on public transport next to the guy who hasn’t showered, the woman whose perfume is threatening to suffocate you, or the teenager who is playing music so loud they will probably be deaf in 10 minutes, if they aren’t already.

WARP will fund this policy through printing money, yes, printing money and then unilaterally revaluing the proposed new Western Australian Bluesky Dollar to make it worth $US 1000, after all, nobody seems to have worked out any serious economic solution to the world economy so this will have as much chance of working as anything else.

If this policy doesn’t get us elected, then I’ll eat my hat, but only if it’s made out of a loaf of bread.

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