So, with an election yet to be formally announced by a government yet to formally do much at all, I think it is time for WARP to unveil another of its innovative moves.
WARP reiterates its commit to electoral reform and will recycle its policy of having an extra blank spot on the ballot paper. This will be for the discerning voter who feels that none of the candidates that have nominated for their seat are suitable. The blank space will enable the voter to vote for whomever they would prefer to represent them in parliament. So, if you feel that Miranda Kerr, Jennifer Hawkins, Orlando Bloom, or perhaps Hugh Jackman, would be a better MP, or perhaps just a better looking one, then WARP will commit to enable you to vote for them whether they have nominated or not.
WARP will create a number of new ministries should it be elected, and these ministries will be filled by people appointed by WARP whether they agree to it or not. Why would they not wish to serve their country? This is the next logical step from WARP’s policy that allows people to add an extra box onto their ballot paper should they not wish to vote for any of the official candidates. So what will the new ministries be and who will be in them? As a democratic sort of fellow I will allow people to change portfolios, however, they have to come with the best to do so – a joke policy will do as it seems to be the way to do things these days.
Minister for Common Sense – Waleed Aly
Minister for the Silent Majority – Kitty Flanagan
Minister for Grumpy Old Men – Steve Price
Minister for Space Cadets and Whatever Planet he Currently Resides On – Barnaby Joyce
Minister for Arts End of Australia – Julia Zemiro
Minister for ‘Special Projects’ – Ross Noble
Minister for Brainfarts – Rob Sitch
Minister for Interrogation – Tom Gleeson
Minister for Monsters and ‘Splosions – John Birmingham
Minister for Miscellany – Barry Humphreys
Minister for Deflecting the Blame – Peter Hellier
Some of you may have noticed that many of these Ministers are comedians, and what of it? The country has been run by clowns for the last few governments, so it must be time for the comedians.
VOTE WARP – TO GET YOUR BRAINFARTS NOTICED